I don't know.

Really don't know how many times I need to tell myself that I can do it; how many times I need to re-evaluate myself and ask whether I am capable; how many times I need to crushed everything I believed in and re-construct my world; how many times I need to just struggle in my own self-doubt and don't know what to do; how many times I have to ask myself whether it's worth it and whether I should keep doing this.
To be honest, I don't know. I want to know what I want and where to get it. But, life has been too easy for me that I don't even know how to fight for my own right. Maybe I deserve this because, I should know what to do. Because I should be strong enough to face everything.
But, how many times can I shake myself hard and then calm down? I don't know.