I don't know.

Really don't know how many times I need to tell myself that I can do it; how many times I need to re-evaluate myself and ask whether I am capable; how many times I need to crushed everything I believed in and re-construct my world; how many times I need to just struggle in my own self-doubt and don't know what to do; how many times I have to ask myself whether it's worth it and whether I should keep doing this.
To be honest, I don't know. I want to know what I want and where to get it. But, life has been too easy for me that I don't even know how to fight for my own right. Maybe I deserve this because, I should know what to do. Because I should be strong enough to face everything.
But, how many times can I shake myself hard and then calm down? I don't know.

The painted vail

终于得了一个周末。星期天晚上，我们几个女生就聚在一起，填tip box，看电影。
看的，就是The painted vail。
发生在20年代的中国，
一对互相怨怼的英国夫妇，
在霍乱横行的乡下，
面对生死，面对感情。
故事很美，
故事里的桂林山水也是如仙境一般。
喜欢这个故事，
不只是因为里面的爱情，也不只是因为中国的美景被搬上银幕，
而是，故事里许许多多的视角，让我认同。
谁比谁更有权利伤害？谁比谁更有勇气离开？谁有权利决定生死？谁能知道这样那样的决定是对是错？能在生命的尽头得到谅解，是不是就足够？
爱，怕的是一旦开始，却已没有机会。
推荐这样一部片子，是独立制作的佳片，
绝不是滥竽充数的好莱坞爱情档。
即使只为了看看桂林的美景，也值了：）